Category Archives: Sex

Hardcor Decor

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The Instagram account @hardcore_decor celebrates the one thing that really matters in vintage porn – the decor. Follow the account to fall down a black hole of incredibly garish images of retro baby-makin’. Says the anonymous owner of the account; “The fun part is trying to crop enough to keep it titillating” – well isn’t that the truth!Read more here: A chat with the anonymous archivist behind vintage smut celebration Hardcore Decor

 

A Chinese Sex Toy Factory

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Check out these photos by Jason Lee of the Ningbo Yamei toy factory, on the outskirts of Fenghua, Zhejiang province, February 13, 2012.

Super Sexy CPR

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If you find saving lives boring, then think again! I just came across this beautifully simple, and extremely sexy video of one hot girl performing CPR on another hot girl….

Sounds like a great idea for getting people to pay attention to the the life-saving process of CPR (sex sells people!). However, after some research I have come to learn that this idea is not the brain child of some eager-to-save-lives-medical-group, but in fact a cleaver ad campaign by Canadian lingerie company Fortnight Lingerie Inc.

Does this mean that this film is just a shallow advert to sell lingerie to people? Or is the fact that the video actually teaches you how to perform proper CPR, which could save a life, something that should be congratulated? I have to go with the latter, and say well done Fortnight Lingerie for not simply using sex to sell sexy underwear, but also teaching the world a little bit of first aid. And the fact that there is little mention of the brand on the Super Sexy CPR website, makes the whole thing a lot more admirable.

As it said on the website:

“Now that we’ve got you interested in learning CPR and the abdominal thrust, go get properly certified by taking a class through one of the many certifying authorities in your local area”

So, while Fortnight Lingerie makes it clear that these videos do not qualify as real training, something’s gotta be said for the geniuses who put this campaign together.

And if you already know CPR, or you want to help a friend who is choking (or you wanna see some Man – on – Girl action), then check out their Super Sexy Abdominal Thrusts video that teaches us about the Heimlich Manoeuvre:

And go to the Super Sexy CPR website to download super sexy wallpaper for your computer, that reminds you the steps of CPR.

 

Pierre et Gilles.

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I fricking LOVE Pierre et Gille. I hadn’t thought about them for a while but stumbled across a brochure from an exhibit they held in GOMA a (cough) little while ago (years!). They have worked with pretty much everyone, Warhol, Iggy Pop, Kylie (my favourite woman), Madonna (my second favourite), Grace Jones, Marc Almond – the list goes on. Their highly stylised and kitsch sensibility can only make you smile, even when the subject matter is often quite dark. If you want some glitter and gaudiness in your life have a look.

Cheating Type

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Often, when someone cheats on you, you can picture the two of them at it. All the kissing, licking, positions and shit they did. Well Luke Lucas (great name right?!) has visualised cheating in a whole new way. He has created one of the most disturbing, yet funny typefaces I’ve seen in a while. Check out the “excuses” he’s used to show the typeface, then have a look at the close ups. Knida weird… But I like it…

Have a look at his other typefaces and work on his website.

A Dyslexic Girl’s Guide to Books: Tart Cards

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Hello. My name is Hells and I’m dyslexic…

but damn do I love a good book! 

In my last year at art school I began making my own Tart Cards. For anyone who doesn’t know what a Tart Card is, it’s a small, post-card-sized piece of paper that prostitutes put in telephone boxes to advertise their services. Before you go there, no I was not making tart cards to advertise my career change to becoming a hooker. I made cards that, instead of advertising girl’s sexual “talents” they advertised their intellect and expertise in whatever field they worked in. 
 
 
 
Peep my cards below:

So, obviously while doing this project I came to learn a lot about the origins of Tart Cards in London (because yes, they are unique to LDN). It wasn’t until a month after said project was finished that I came across the most perfect book on the subject: “Tart Cards: London’s Illicit Advertising Art” by Caroline Archer & Mark Batty.

I know right? Sod’s law that I scrawl the internet, books and documents to try to get as much info on TCs and just when I don’t need it no more, I find this gem in the book shop opposite my office! 

Regardless, I got the book. Firstly because it was only £6, and secondly because I have a true, deep love of Tart Cards, and this book has everything you will ever want to know about them. Plus, a lot of information about the dark underworld of the London sex-scene; it’s history, origins, techniques, doggy dealings, the lot!
The good thing about this book is it is stuffed full of images. Now, for a dyslexic, this is like giving a fat kid the golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s factory. There is nothing better for me than a book that has more pictures that words, and the words it does have are easy to follow, interesting, and informative. 
To top it all off, once you’ve learnt all about Tart Cards, and seen pretty much every card that’s ever been made, there is a handy little glossary at the back of the book that teaches you the meanings of technical terms and vernacular phrases that are commonly found on London’s tart cards.
What could be better for a dyslexic than a dictionary huh? 

 

 

Buy & enjoy here. xx

 

 

SMUT-ty

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I came across SMUT clothing years ago when I saw an ad for it in an underground London magazine. The advert showed a girl receiving oral from a guy while wearing a t-shirt that has an illustration of the same thing. Thus, SMUT logo is born! I can’t quite decide my feelings for this clothing line. I wouldn’t really wear any of their items, but I can’t help but love the logo: a girl getting oral sex, which makes the ‘M’ in the brand’s name? Genius! 

Breaking News – Sexy is Successful

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Honey Money: The Power of Erotic Capital by Catherine Hakim

Cosy-ing up to the telly last night, News Night caught my attention with a lovely buzzword- ‘erotic capital’.

Short of anything other than riots and economy to winge about they’d brought on Catherine Hakim, a ‘Senior Research Fellow of Sociology’, to talk about her new book “Honey Money: The power of Erotic Capital”.

According to Penguin:
Dr Catherine Hakim’s groundbreaking book reveals how erotic capital is just as influential in life as how rich, clever, educated or well-connected we are … She examines how women and men learn to exploit it, how it differs across cultures and how it affects all spheres of activity … Honey Money is a call for us to recognize the economic and social value of erotic capital. This will not only get women a better deal in …  life – it could also revolutionize our power structures, big business, the sex industry, government … etc etc

In short: People like pretty people. Groundbreaking, indeed! Next you’ll be telling us it’s illegal to discriminate against the ugly or disabled.

But whatthehellis erotic capital?

A really fun word to throw about. Some clever man said your “erotic capital” is being bumped up by the quality and quantity of attributes you have that others can find sexy. So, I’m guessing it can varies from having big tits, big brains to even a big collection of frilly socks.  Hakim herself divides erotic capital into seven areas, though.

So what’s new?

Well, as the nice lady joining her on News Night said, Catherine Hakim has successfully her PHD in writing a book stating the obvious.

I can’t say why they decided this book was breaking news either!

Still, if you’re up for reading old ideas written in our current downfalling age, here’s her book on how blowjobs get you a promotion, I think I’ll be ordering it into the library myself. Or perhaps you’d rather learn a more modern theory like, oh, gravity.

The Museum of Broken Relationships

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The Museum of Broken Relationships, an exhibition that originated in Croatia, is a collection of objects donated by people from around the world, each object telling a story of a past relationship. The objects, which include a wedding dress, a crumbling garden gnome and a cast from a broken leg, are displayed alongside texts detailing the tales of passion, romance and heartbreak they symbolise. New items, donated by people living and working in Covent Garden, will be added to collection for the London show, which also takes place at 38 Earlham Street, WC2H 9LH and in store windows in the Seven Dials area. In addition, there are commissioned works made in response to the exhibition by artists, and a series of associated events.

What a brilliant idea for a museum! We’ve all been through it, and we’ve all got something we could give to the exhibition. So it’s nice to see what other people around the world have given, plus the stories are interesting, sometimes funny and more often than not, heart-breaking.

Below is a selection from the museum with stories of the past relationships. My favourite has got to be the phone, what a good idea to give your phone to your ex so they can’t call you! 

An Ex Axe

1995 
Berlin, Germany

She was the first woman that I let move in with me. All my friends thought I needed to learn to let people in more. A few months after she moved in, I was offered to travel to the US. She could not come along. At the airport we said goodbye in tears, and she was assuring me she could not survive three weeks without me. I returned after three weeks, and she said: “I fell in love with someone else. I have known her for just 4 days, but I know that she can give me everything that you cannot.”

I was banal and asked about her plans regarding our life together. The next day she still had no answer, so I kicked her out. She immediately went on holiday with her new girlfriend while her furniture stayed with me. Not knowing what to do with my anger, I finally bought this axe at Karstadt to blow off steam and to give her at least a small feeling of loss – which she obviously did not have after our break-up.

In the 14 days of her holiday, every day I axed one piece of her furniture. I kept the remains there, as an expression of my inner condition. The more her room filled with chopped furniture acquiring the look of my soul, the better I felt. Two weeks after she left, she came back for the furniture. It was neatly arranged into small heaps and fragments of wood. She took that trash and left my apartment for good. The axe was promoted to a therapy instrument.

A Cell Phone

July 12, 2003 – April 14, 2004 
Zagreb, Croatia

It was 300 days too long. He gave me his cell phone so I couldn’t call him any more.

“I love you” Teddy bear

2002 
Zagreb, Croatia

„I love you“ – WHAT A LIE! LIES, DAMN LIES! Yes, it’s like that when you are young, naïve and in love. And you don’t realize your boyfriend started dating you just because he wanted to take you to bed! I got this teddy bear for Valentine’s. He survived on top of my closet in a plastic bag, because it wasn’t him who hurt me, but the idiot who left him behind.

A Glass Horse

1982-1997 
Maribor, Slovenia

One day I was tidying up the bedroom. I opened the closet and found a small cash-box. I opened it. At the bottom of it I saw my wedding ring, and next to it a little glass horse. I took it in my hand. It was made in a workshop on the island of Murano, Venice.

Old memories – If I remember correctly, my husband and I took a trip to Venice. It was a splendid day, the sun was shining. I was young, I was in love. I had wonderful dreams about our future. Venice is a city of people in love. We walked slowly along the streets, across the squares and stone bridges. The streets were full of people, full of tourists. Young people were walking hand in hand. Everyone seemed happy. We soon arrived at the Canal Grande, a long narrow street full of beautiful palaces. The facades were bathing in the sun. We stopped at the place called Café Gondoliere and went in. Inside there was a group of tourists, older men reading newspapers, and smartly-dressed women eating cakes. We sat down to enjoy the scene. After some time I went to the women’s washroom and when I came back, my husband was paying the bill. We made a quick decision. We went to visit the glass-works of Murano.

I was admiring an artist who was making beautiful sculptures in glass. In front of us he was sculpting a beautiful horse. I said: Oh, I would be very happy if I had it. Then we returned to the city. It was a long walk back to our hotel. We didn’t talk a lot, but it was a peaceful time which both of us enjoyed. I was very happy. Just before we reached the hotel my husband kissed me on the cheek and gave me a small package. He said: Darling, I love you. I’ll never stop loving you. You are my life. I answered: Me too, dear. When we entered the room, I opened my gift and saw the little glass horse.

20 years later, I am divorced. His love disappeared like the wind. I put the glass horse into the box beside the wedding ring and shut it. I say to myself: Don’t cry! Tomorrow is a new day.

A “MIRA FURLAN” Bowl

Almost 3 years, January 2003 – September 2005 
Ljubljana, Slovenia

You wanted me to bake bread. Because a woman kneading dough is so erotic, isn’t she? You probably thought I’d work up such a sweat that it would drip from my breasts directly into the bowl. One summer day I dressed up only in an apron, just for you and the bowl. In three years I made bread five times in this bowl. It never was any good, always hard as a rock. I don’t know why. Maybe it is because the bowl is too small for kneading, or because I sometimes forgot to put in the yeast. Do you put an egg in bread? You were always eyeing me suspiciously when I was “getting to work”. You wanted me to be like Mira Furlan in the film “Lepota poroka”. But I’m not Mira Furlan. Now I know that the bread was bad because I was afraid that you would – like it happened in the film – smash it on my head with a hammer, if I happened to look at another boy for a tad too long. After that I only ate salad from the bowl for a while. I lost 21 kilograms. And the Furlan woman is not such a babe anymore.

Underpants

2003 – 2005 
Zagreb, Croatia

A size too small…but I didn’t mind at all.

 

A Wedding Dress

1994 – 1997 
Berlin, Germany

We married in Greece and in Japan when we were just over 20. I wore this dress on August 20, 1994 in Kavala, Greece. We had 800 guests. A Greek magazine reported on the wedding of 3 countries. One radio station even had a special coverage.
Against our will, we became rather known there, which was followed by many nosy questions from different people pointing their fingers at us.

Our goal was a happy home with many children.
But Mother Nature did not deliver – and couldn’t children wait until the end of our studies?
It was very important to him, a very happy man from the beginning, to be a young father. Finally, nothing was missing…
Slowly, the page turned. Impatience tipped the scales and brought a dark gray sky over our initial happiness, built a thick white wall between our fields of vision that stifled each feeling in its embryo.

On the other hand, some things became clear on his side that moved me to separate and after a while to return to Germany, but not to my home town, Stuttgart. Berlin won me over and I am finding more and more in this town and in the people that love me.

I started to feel at home here and even have a family. It is the best moment- to be an independent grown up offering a safe thread of life to a small being, and thus not to be alone.